Emrie Lue

Today my sweet niece Emrie turned three! I cannot believe that she has been here for three whole years. She is a hoot to say the least. Her over-abundance of personality makes for lots of laughs and very few dull moments. She comes up with the craziest things! Emrie captured my heart the second I knew she was a girl during my sister's pregnancy. I was just so excited to meet her and love her. She will always hold a special piece of my heart. I have had the privilege of spending a lot of time with this sweet girl since day one and I still can't get enough of her. When I've gone a couple of weeks without a little Emrie-love I do all I can to arrange a little hang out time.
I got to take Emrie to her first movie this summer and she LOVED it! We saw Toy Story 3 and she just sat and watched so sweetly. We love to sing songs and count. She is so smart and it amazes me all she picks up on these days. That girl LOVES to shop, wear jewelry, dress up and get her nails done. She is a true girlie girl and full of drama.
It has been a true joy of my life to watch my sister love her baby girl. She makes no apologies when it comes to Emrie, but she is also paying for her raising a little bit. It's hilarious to watch! Emrie has so much of Cassie in her it is not even funny! The things she says, how she says them and her reactions to things are a mirror image of her sassy Momma.
And maybe my favorite thing lately is to watch how Emrie LOVES Tucker, most of the time. She is adjusting to not being the center of the universe all the time, but she is so sweet with him. She just kisses, hugs, pats, talks and entertains him constantly. And Tucker returns the love! He does all he can to get to her and return some of the love. They are so sweet together and are going to be good friends. She gets SUPER excited to see him and is a great little helper.
Oh my Emrie Lue what would our world look like without you? I don't even want to imagine it. You are precious, perfect, sassy and a true Meyer girl. We are all just crazy about you and it is our privilege to watch you grow and learn and change. You are so special! YOUR AUNT MAC, UNCLE CHRIS & TUCKER LOVE YOU TTTTTTTHHHHHHHHHHIIIIIIIIIIISSSSSSSSSSSSSS much!!!

Purcell, America

Purcell has always been home to me. Even though I haven't lived there in ten years when I say home I'm usually referring to my hometown. Probably because my entire family is there, my heart is there. Both parents. Grandparents. Sisters. Niece. Everyone, but my family of three lives within a few miles of each other.
Our long term plan has always been to end up in Purcell. Someday. Down the road. But since Tucker has joined our family I find myself longing for us to be there sooner rather then later. All of that would be fine and a non-issue really if my husband was in any other field besides ministry. We don't just move to where we want to live, we have to be called. And right now we are most definitely called to Sayre.
We have an amazing church. One like I've never been involved with before. A pastor who not only loves us but defends, encourages, and values both Chris' ministry and mine, as well as, has the same ministry viewpoint as we do. We have a group of students that is special and passionate and really when we talk about the future we say, "we can't leave until after _______ graduates." That says something. Planning our life and ministry around students who are such a part of our lives we can't bear the thought of leaving. We have NEVER had anything remotely close to the church family we have been blessed with in Sayre. Our church LOVES my husband. They support him. They value his role. They are proud of him in a way that only people who have watched a person grow from a child into adulthood can be proud of someone.
They have welcomed Tucker into our church family with open arms! He has more grandma's than anyone can count. He is dotted on constantly. We weren't sure how everyone would feel about our adoption and the fact that our baby isn't white like the other 98% of our congregation. But they love him almost as much as we do. They have played a huge role in Tucker's life before we even knew we would have Tucker. They were so faithful to pray for us and over throughout our journey of infertility and adoption.
I have a place in our church. A vital role and ministry. They love that Chris and I do ministry together and that is not the case with every church.
But even with all those great things I still I wish my sisters were just around the corner and my mom and Nana were down the street. Weeks go by where everyday I wake up and go to sleep wishing we were closer. The two and a half hour drive (especially with a four month old who isn't too fond of his car seat) just isn't feasible as a day trip to hang out or shop or go swimming. Sometimes all the church family in the world still can't compare to having your actual family close by.
I don't know how long we will be here. I don't know if we will ever actually live in Purcell. But I really hope we do. It's funny that I get more homesick as an adult then I ever did as a kid. Someday. Maybe.

Three Months

Tucker,
Three whole months have passed since that beautiful night we met you. Three months seems like such a short time, but I'm having trouble remembering what any part of my life was like before you made your grand entrance into our family. I can't put into words how full you make my heart. You are developing quite the personality and doing lots of tricks. You are very strong and a pretty big guy. We can't go anywhere without strangers complimenting you, usually on your hair, and some even try to touch (which makes me very anxious!) but they all mean well and ask lots of questions. You are a miracle to us and your story has touched many lives.
You are a regular celebrity at church. Our students adore you, grandmothers flock around you and most of the men are pretty enamored with you too. The last three months have been pretty busy. (I know I'm behind on these letters) I had a kidney stone stuck from the Sunday before you were born until you were six weeks old. So during that time we didn't spend much time alone because I was afraid of having an attack and not being able to care for you. We spent a lot of time at Granna's with the whole family. The week after I got my stone removed your Daddy started his camp schedule for the summer. He was gone to kids camp first and we spent our first night just the two of us. Your Daddy was worried but everything went fine. The next day, when I was trying to pack for both of us by myself didn't go quite as smooth. That was a stressful day!
Then came Super Summer and we spent the week at Granna's. We made two trips to Shawnee to visit. I must confess, this was a tough week for me. I love Super Summer and look forward to it every year so I was a little sad not to be there this year, but I had the best reason for missing it! We did love getting to show you off to some of our youth minister friends and even found a distant blood relative of yours. He's Kiowa too and his family is related to your birth mom's family. What a blessing to know you have a faith heritage.
Last week we all three, plus Granna, headed to Falls Creek for your first camp experience. You did great! It rained a lot which kept us inside and the weather cooler. You loved the worship services and fell asleep every night. (You did that at Super Summer too) You did pretty good during the preaching and made it almost all the way thru the services every night. You were tossed around a lot but you don't seem to mind. You love to flirt with the girls and you smile so sweetly for everyone. I think you liked Falls Creek just fine! It's a blessing to get to take you to do ministry and it's one of our goals to show our students that our family is always first. It is also important to us that we do ministry as a family, even from this point in your life. We want you to grow up loving the Lord and seeing Him work in the lives of those around you. It was different, but a good week for all of us.
Some of the things you're doing...
Pushing your butt in the air when you're on your stomach and scooting along the bed using your strong legs
Talking and smiling up a storm. This has been one of our favorite parts! You get so excited to tell us all of your stories.
You're very close to laughing out loud and sitting up. You can't quite balance your head and torso together but you're getting closer every day. And the laughing has got to be around the corner!
You found your hands last week and will not keep them out of your mouth! You LOVE them!
You love to lay on your back and kick and wiggle. You are a busy man with those arms and legs.
You definitely recognize people easily by voices and by how they hold you. You have always been a bit of a Momma's boy and you still are. Which I relish knowing how much you love me.
You have started slobbering a lot! I'm not sure why but unless you're laying down you are soaked with spit!
You follow us and other objects with your eyes and head.
You still don't act like you know Thatcher is alive but that's ok. You don't even react to his barking.
You hate sleeping on your back.
You HATE riding alone in the backseat. You aren't a fan of your car seat. I don't know if it's because it's hot or uncomfortable or what but you feel strongly about it.
You just moved into 3-6 months clothes, which is right on time. And we used your last size one diaper yesterday. You have very chunky thighs and those things just weren't cutting it.
You and I sing a lot and you get more chatty when I'm singing our fun songs and you instantly relax when we sing sleepy songs. I love that!
And my favorite new trick of yours is giving kisses. When I kiss your cheek or lean down for a kiss from above you you open your mouth and turn your head to give your Momma a kiss. It's the sweetest thing! Even if I do come away all slobbery.
You are still very laid back and sweet. I think God knew how crazy our life is and gave us a baby who'd fit right in. Someone told me last week that if God gives us what we can handle God knew he couldn't handle crazy kids and I think that might be true of us too. You are exactly what we needed!
I still look at you everyday and can barely wrap my mind around the idea that you are mine forever. You are so perfect and beautiful and you have changed my life in the very best way possible. I'm so proud to be your Momma and I love that I get to fill my days hanging out with you. You are more precious to me then any other thing in my life. I really can't put into words how your eyes melt my heart, your cries make my blood pressure shoot through the roof, how your smiles light up my world, or how your very existence intoxicates me. I love you so very much and I'm blessed by you every day. You are exactly the child God knew I needed. You are our perfect gift sweet boy!
Momma

Moments

There are moments in life that you know, even while they're happening, that afterwards you'll never be the same. Whether they are good or bad. You just know. From now on - I'm changed. Some are monumental events others are more happenstance. Your wedding day, birth of a child, Salvation... those are some big milestones. These moments affect your life, maybe in ways you never expected.
One of those moments in my life came in October of my senior year of high school. It was a Friday morning. I think it was rainy that day. I was rushing into school, as usual, when a classmate grabbed me and told me one of our friends had committed suicide. I heard her but went on with my routine. About a hour later, at a school assembly called to discuss the tragedy, it hit me. Brandon was one of my good friends. He had changed schools the previous year and I hadn't seen him in a while, but we talked often and he knew he could count on me and vice versa. I feel to pieces as teachers and school staff discussed the situation. They told us we shouldn't go to the hospital and wouldn't let me leave after the meeting. I distinctly remember trying hysterically to get around several teachers because I wanted to see him. I never went. I regret that. They put Brandon on life support that Friday and he "lived" until Sunday when they unplugged his machine. My friends spent a lot of time together that weekend praying and crying together. The following Monday a bunch of us went to his house to see his mom. I'll never forget walking into that familiar living room and seeing his letter jacket hanging on the coat rack and how his mother clung to me as we cried. The next day I went to the funeral home to see his body. My mom thought it'd be a good idea to be prepared. That was awful! His casket was filled with mementos and trinkets from friends. I added one of my own and continued to mourn. His service was packed and the only two things I really remember about that is they played Creed's With Arms Wide Open and when I hugged his mom she told me that Brandon had told her I was his "back-up wife" and that he loved me a lot. As we exited the funeral home, experiencing the loss of someone my age for the first time, several of us piled into a friends Mustang. We put the top down and sang all the way to the cemetery, remembering our friend. Knowing he'd have been the life of the party even that day. We had an empty chair for him at graduation and gave his mom a flower. He would've turned 28 today. His last birthday was 10 years ago. How is that possible? I remember his birthday and death day every year. It just always comes to my mind. I don't do it on purpose.
I loved Brandon. He was a good friend. His life and death have profoundly affected my life and continue to do so. He is one of my moments.

Long Days of Summer

It's been a long week. We've had a lot going on getting ready for Falls Creek next week and we had VBS at our church so that always makes things hectic. I think it's felt so long for several reasons.
#1. I've had a MAJOR sinus issue for the last week and have felt like poo most of the time. I have literally used 2 1/2 boxes of kleenex in the last week! I have just felt worthless! And I still have a baby to take care of even though I'm sick. (side note: that is a not so fun side of motherhood.)
#2. The week before camp is always worse then the actual week of camp. There feels like so much that needs to be done and planned for and packed. Add a two month old baby into that mix and that's enough to make anyone feel a little stressed.
#3. Because I have Tucker, Chris is having to do a lot more without me. Which he is doing a great job and is more than capable, but still it's different.
#4. We've had a bit of drama going on around our student ministry (not because of students) and this has been heavy on both our hearts. Very heavy.
Several things I've been wrestling with personally: Why as staff members of a church are we expected to take all people dish out without looking out for ourselves/families? Someone once told Chris that he was the only hired hand some people would ever have. I think that's awful, but what's worse is the truth of that statement. The church is a hard place to work sometimes. Being a wife of a minister isn't easy sometimes because you have to hear people be mean about/to your husband. Sometimes it's hard because people are mean to you! I think God gave us discerning minds and spirits just like everyone else and I'm not going to be guilty of not using them when I feel His leading!
Another thought: As a partner in my husband's ministry I've been having to remind myself that I am not a church employee. I don't have to be in the fat middle of every little thing at church like I have been for the past four years. It's been a hard lesson for me to learn. I'm still working on it. Tucker is without question my priority, but I still feel like I need to be doing all I've always done. A parent told me today that I didn't need to feel obligated to do all that and I really needed to hear that. Today God has sent me three separate encouragement's because He knew I needed them. It's been one of those weeks that I've felt attacked all week. I have been snappy at my husband for silly things because I can't express my feelings to anyone else. Poor guy! He's been a real trooper through my mood swings, sickness and stress this week!
But Falls Creek is almost here! I'm so excited to see what the Father is going to do in the lives of our students and in my own life next week. I'm excited to take Tucker to camp for the first time. Next week has to be good because of the things that have been put before us this week. His mercies are new every morning and this week I've needed a whole new batch everyday!

Three Week HolliB pictures

These are a few of my favorite shots from HolliB's newborn session with Tucker. (www.hollibphotography.com) She's so good! When your best friends are immensely talented you gotta play to their strengths. He's so big now and already looks totally different but, enjoy my sweet baby anyway!

Heart Storage

I've always heard how Mary treasured the things surrounding Jesus' birth and infancy in her heart and until Tucker I couldn't truly appreciate what that meant. So to make sure I remember the little things that I love most I'm going to make a list. Here are just some of my favorites...
How Tucker holds my finger when I'm feeding him his bottle.
The way only I can soothe him sometimes. He's already a bit of a Momma's boy and I LOVE it! Maybe a little too much.
How his butt fits into one hand.
The feeling of his angel soft hair.
Any noise he ever makes. Cooing, grunting or sometimes even his cries are cute.
His weight against my chest. It is the most soothing feeling to feel us breath together.
How I feel to see others love my baby. Especially my grandparents and parents. It's crazy how a baby can melt hearts and conquer life long prejudices in just a few seconds.
His studious expressions as he investigates new people, places and situations. (Which seems like almost every time he wakes up. Poor guy always in a new place)
His soft cheek against mine.
His response to my voice when others are holding him.
How he loves me to sing him to sleep. He already calms down when we sing songs.
How tight he grips my finger. That was the first way I got to touch him as the nurse cleaned him off in the delivery room so I think that will always be a special feeling to me.
When he's hungry or just wants his paci, how he'll suck on my shoulder or neck until I can get what he wants in his mouth.
When I know/think he's hungry my test is to kiss close to his mouth and if he is hungry he will turn his head and try to suck on my lips. Precious kisses!

And my sweet boy is waking so that's all for now. I'm sure this will be a running list.