Goals

Lately I have found myself lacking motivation. Like I seriously don't want to do anything and nothing is getting accomplished. At the end of the day I feel frustrated with myself because I've wasted another day. Sure I play with Tucker and take care of him, but not much else gets done. Every once and a while that'd be ok but on a regular basis its not good for my psyche, my house or my family. So I'm going to make some goals for this fall. Some big ones, some small. But just a list to make me think through some things that I want to accomplish.
#1. We are going to try to potty train next month. Tuck will be 17 months old and while I know he's young I think its worth a try. If it doesn't work we'll wait a month or two and try again. I REALLY want him to have it down by two. I'm really excited about this and the research I'm doing says that toddlers around 18 months are totally capable. Crossing our fingers!
#2. I want to take a shower every MORNING. I do shower every day, but sometimes its at 1 when Tucker's napping or its 5 when Chris gets home because I don't have anything I have to get ready for that day. I think showering earlier and putting actual clothes on instead of sweats will make me want to do more.
#3. Cut down on unneeded money spending. I find at the end of the month I've bought some things that we don't really need. The main area is clothes for Tuck. He doesn't need anything else, but I always seem to find something on sale or a good deal. I need to only buy what he NEEDS.
#4. I want to be more encouraging to Chris. He recently pointed out that I'm most complimentary of him right after we argue. I don't want that to be true. Parenting and marriage are stressful. Sometimes I blow up over little things Chris does because I'm frustrated with Tuck and then I feel bad so I try to compensate by telling him how much I love/appreciate him. I want to tell him those things just because I mean them, not in an attempt to make my emotional outburst seem more acceptable.
#5. I want to go to lunch with students or friends once a week. Its good for Tuck and I to get out of the house and be around other people. I feel like a hermit sometimes because I go days with Chris being the only other adult I see. Small town living doesn't provide us with busy parks, malls or many activities. Sometimes I find myself feeling jealous of bigger city living because there's just more to do. Even we do go to the park or something we are usually the only ones there.
#6. I want to clean out and organize our garage and office. Both have become catch all rooms and that disorganization annoys me but because its out-of-site and out-of-mind its easy to ignore.
#7. With the things I clean out I want to have a garage sale and really get rid of some of our excess.
#8. I want to read a non-baby related book every month. (I'm taking suggestions) I love to read but have a hard time choosing books sometimes. But its good for me to think about something else.
#9. I want to try a new recipe every week. I'm just getting bored with all my go-to recipes that we eat all the time. (Suggestions also welcome here)
#10. I want to start exercising and eating better. Chris and I both need to lose some weight and I need to be the one pushing us to do it. The extra hot summer has kept us inside a lot.
Ok that's ten. That'll give me something to work on. Hopefully the days won't pass as a blur if I have these reminders of things I'd like to do.

Sleepless in Sayre

When you have a baby you expect sleepless nights. You know those are part of the deal. And we were fine with that. I think I thought that Tucker would continually sleep better and better until he mastered sleeping all night. I was not prepared for him to sleep all night for several months and then stop and want to be awake for 2-4 hours in the middle of the night and then sleep until late morning. This is brutal.
From the time we brought Tucker home he was an ok sleeper. He would wake up, eat and go immediately back to sleep (unless he was sick or cutting teeth) but around the beginning of the summer he started waking up again. And then he wanted to stay awake. That's where our problem is. I HATE staying awake. Some nights I can't. We've tried a million different things.
Crying it out. Doesn't work. We've done that for a week at a time five separate times in his life. He cries for at least a hour and then finally falls asleep but the moment anything changes in our routine he goes back to crying for hours at a time. This is traumatic for all of us and it just doesn't work for us.
I determined before he was even born that I'd always rock him to sleep for the night. Those moments are so precious to me and I know the days he will want to be rocked will pass quickly so I'm soaking them up. Even though a lot of books and websites encourage parents to teach their children to fall asleep independently rocking has worked well of us. It gives me some cuddle time and him some extra security. Its one of those moments of motherhood you dream about and I treasure it!
The only thing that seems to do the trick in the middle of the night is to put Tucker in our bed. This is one of those things we didn't want to start, but when you get so tired you can't hold your own head up it seems like a better idea then it once did. I don't know that any of the three of us rest very well in our queen sized bed, but a little sleep is better then none at all. One perk of this bad habit is getting to wake up next to two sweet boys. Tucker peaks his eyes open at me and then raises up to kiss me with his sweet open mouth and then we stretch and he smiles so sweetly. I think he likes having us at arms reach first thing instead of waking up alone. I guess we'll just see how things go and we may ask for a king sized bed for Christmas. ha!