I know this is a long time coming. So without further adieu...
TUCKER IS HERE! His birth was indescribable in words. It was the most emotional, amazing experience of my life. The biggest testament to the faithfulness of our God and a beautiful picture of what God did for us when we accept his salvation. I cannot put into words the love I feel for Tucker and the bond I have with his Birth Mom, K.
The day of his birth was surreal. It was as if time didn't really exist, at least in it's normal parameters. At times it felt like it was lasting forever and then at other points it felt like it was speeding by and I wouldn't be able to absorb all that was happening.
Thursday morning I got up and we packed for a couple of days stay in Purcell. We needed to make a few returns and get some last minute items before Tucker got here. Before going to Purcell we were going to Lawton to go to K's last weekly doctor appointment. We were about 30 minutes from our house when I got a text asking me to call her. I did, in the worst reception area of the entire drive from Sayre to Lawton, and got bits and pieces. She thought her water had broken. She was at the hospital getting checked. She'd let me know any news as soon as she knew something. Chris sped up and called a Highway Patrol friend and we began contacting family. We made the last hour and a half of the drive in about a hour. When we arrived at the hospital, around 2 p.m, we discovered her water had indeed broken and we spent the afternoon waiting and calling family and friends. I couldn't believe it was really happening.
By dinner time Team Tucker had arrived. My mom, sisters, Nana, Dad and Chris' Mom. So had our adoption coordinator, Dierdra. She suggested we all go to dinner and take our time out of the hospital. We spent about two hours away and that was all I could take. When we got back K had made little progress. She was dilating about 1/2 a centimeter an hour. She progressed this way until she reached a 7. At that point things really started picking up. Also around that time I had a kidney stone attack. I had to take a pain pill, do some walking and drinking and hugging a chair. But as things picked up that pain quickly became a non-issue.
K's foster mom was supposed to be her support in the delivery room. She was allowed to have three people in there and she had chosen Chris & I along with her mom. But when things were getting serious she couldn't get a hold of her mom. So K added my sister, who is a photographer, to the bunch. This allowed us to have documentation of the entire birth.
Also because her mom wasn't there I got to step in and be K's birth coach. I held her hand, wiped her faced, got in her face, helped her breath and even held her leg as she pushed. It was more then I ever even dared to pray for. I still can't really put into words the bond and the emotions of those hours I spent with K as we both did all we could to usher Tucker into the world safely and quickly. She was a trooper!
The nurse finally told her she could start pushing and got the doctor on call a little before 2 a.m. When she started pushing the doctor realized her cervix wasn't all the way out of the way. So she had to stop and rearrange and lay all funky to get it to move out of the way. This was the intense part. She wanted to push so bad and I had to keep her from it. After about 30 minutes she got to try again.
The team came back in and we all repositioned ourselves for Tucker's grand entrance. She pushed through one ten-count and as she started with the second ten-count the nurse said, "Look he's crowning." Before Chris could take the three steps from where he was standing to the bed Tucker was here. The doctor even looked a little startled.
This was it.
This was the moment.
We were parents. All three of us.
Immediately we all three, well four including my sister, were crying. From the moment he was here K said, "there's your son, your son is here." I leaned over and she and I hugged for a long moment as we cried in celebration of Tucker's arrival. Relishing that moment together. That accomplishment together. The love that we both felt for Tucker as his mothers, even though our roles are so different.
As soon as Tucker was clean I got to put on his very first diaper and pick him up. I was already so in love! Chris got to hold him second and then he passed him to K. She looked him over and kissed and loved on him. She then graciously turned and handed him back to me.
After a few quite moments just us, Team Tucker couldn't wait any longer. You would have never known it was 3 a.m. by seeing everyone's excitement and tears. He was passed around between our family and then our family of three made our way to the nursery. This was a part of the process I never thought about because normally the momma has just delivered a baby, but since I hadn't just birthed a child I got to be in there.
We gave him his first bath, which he didn't enjoy much, and by 5 a.m. we got to wheel our baby into our hospital room and just be a family.
Chris slept a little and I laid wide awake and just marveled at this precious baby boy.
WELCOME TO THE WORLD AND OUR FAMILY TUCKER WILLIAM GORDON!
7 lbs. 15 oz, 20 in. long born at 2:50 a.m.
Wednesday, April 21, 2010
Wednesday, April 14, 2010
Waiting, Painting, Showers & Stones
There is not any monumental news to report. We've just been working like crazy the last week to get all the little details in order for Tucker. Our birth mom has been having back contractions for several days now so it could really be any time. She thought she was going into labor Sunday night but turned out to be false labor. So we are just on call to head to Lawton at ANY moment.
Last week we painted the nursery and it turned out really cute! I can't wait for our bedding to come in and to put the final touches on the room. The paint came out a little darker then I wanted but when it was all sat and done it looks great. We did stripes on one wall with a monogram done by my sister's friend. I LOVE it! It just adds so much personality to the room. When we started looking a baby boy stuff I thought I wanted to go pretty traditional, but it turns out I don't so much love the pastel "baby" colors. Tucker will be able to grow into his room and the room has a great vibe to it. Chris and I have found ourselves just hanging out in there waiting on Tucker to make the room his own. It was a lot of work, but I think the end result was worth it.
Last weekend our church and our students had showers for us. On Saturday the whole church gave us so much stuff! It was really a cool day. Our families came and got to see the nursery and meet some of our church family. We are so blessed to be apart of FBC Sayre. We have been in some places that were not so great so we really appreciate having a church home and family. Finding that is different when you are on staff at a church. We are just blessed to have found that. Tucker has so many grandma's already and we're so glad he will be loved by so many! On Sunday night our youth threw us a shower. All by themselves! They had food, cake, drinks, games and gifts. They did an AMAZING job! I'd put our kids up against anyones. They are all so excited to be apart of Tuck's life and already love him so much. They got us TONS of diapers, wipes and other really practical things that are great. One of our 8th girls even MADE Tucker a blanket...I cried when I opened it. I mean just super sweet! So I think as far as "stuff" goes we're covered.
On Sunday morning about 5 a.m. I woke up having some major pain and I knew I was trying to pass my 3rd kidney stone. I waited a couple of hours until Chris's alarm went off and told him I thought we needed to go to the ER because my doctor had told me they weren't going to pass on their own. We went, got a shot and a script for pain meds and came home. I tried to rest until time for our shower that night. I went to the shower and shortly after we got home I started puking and we decided to go back to the ER. I was miserable to say the least. We got the call from our Birth Mom as I was laying on the gurney in the ER. When she called I just cried! I didn't want to be in the delivery room feeling like I was dying while our son was being born! So we waited and heard she wasn't in labor. We were super relieved. They admitted me to the hospital and we stayed until around lunch time yesterday. The diagnosis is that I have a good sized stone at the top of my uritor and until it moves they can't do anything because the procedure that I need isn't cover by our insurance and costs $25,000 so our only option is to wait. Now this wouldn't be great news at any time but when your baby is coming sometime in the next week it really presents a problem! I know there is a reason for all of this but it's hard to see. Please pray that this stone passes quickly and on its own! I'm in pain but my larger concern is having to deal with all of this after Tucker comes or when he comes.
I think that's pretty much it! I'll upload some nursery and shower pictures soon.
Last week we painted the nursery and it turned out really cute! I can't wait for our bedding to come in and to put the final touches on the room. The paint came out a little darker then I wanted but when it was all sat and done it looks great. We did stripes on one wall with a monogram done by my sister's friend. I LOVE it! It just adds so much personality to the room. When we started looking a baby boy stuff I thought I wanted to go pretty traditional, but it turns out I don't so much love the pastel "baby" colors. Tucker will be able to grow into his room and the room has a great vibe to it. Chris and I have found ourselves just hanging out in there waiting on Tucker to make the room his own. It was a lot of work, but I think the end result was worth it.
Last weekend our church and our students had showers for us. On Saturday the whole church gave us so much stuff! It was really a cool day. Our families came and got to see the nursery and meet some of our church family. We are so blessed to be apart of FBC Sayre. We have been in some places that were not so great so we really appreciate having a church home and family. Finding that is different when you are on staff at a church. We are just blessed to have found that. Tucker has so many grandma's already and we're so glad he will be loved by so many! On Sunday night our youth threw us a shower. All by themselves! They had food, cake, drinks, games and gifts. They did an AMAZING job! I'd put our kids up against anyones. They are all so excited to be apart of Tuck's life and already love him so much. They got us TONS of diapers, wipes and other really practical things that are great. One of our 8th girls even MADE Tucker a blanket...I cried when I opened it. I mean just super sweet! So I think as far as "stuff" goes we're covered.
On Sunday morning about 5 a.m. I woke up having some major pain and I knew I was trying to pass my 3rd kidney stone. I waited a couple of hours until Chris's alarm went off and told him I thought we needed to go to the ER because my doctor had told me they weren't going to pass on their own. We went, got a shot and a script for pain meds and came home. I tried to rest until time for our shower that night. I went to the shower and shortly after we got home I started puking and we decided to go back to the ER. I was miserable to say the least. We got the call from our Birth Mom as I was laying on the gurney in the ER. When she called I just cried! I didn't want to be in the delivery room feeling like I was dying while our son was being born! So we waited and heard she wasn't in labor. We were super relieved. They admitted me to the hospital and we stayed until around lunch time yesterday. The diagnosis is that I have a good sized stone at the top of my uritor and until it moves they can't do anything because the procedure that I need isn't cover by our insurance and costs $25,000 so our only option is to wait. Now this wouldn't be great news at any time but when your baby is coming sometime in the next week it really presents a problem! I know there is a reason for all of this but it's hard to see. Please pray that this stone passes quickly and on its own! I'm in pain but my larger concern is having to deal with all of this after Tucker comes or when he comes.
I think that's pretty much it! I'll upload some nursery and shower pictures soon.
Saturday, April 3, 2010
Ultrasound
Yesterday my Mom and I got to see our Tucker on the ultrasound. It was pretty amazing and it wasn't even one of the fancy ones, just a regular one.
We got to see his profile.
What his little foot looks like,
His face. How much he weighs right now, & that he is DEFIANTLY a boy! (I'll leave that picture off to save future humiliation) It was such a fun experience and I'm so glad I got to share it with my mom.
Golf season has put a slight damper on Chris getting to do everything with me, which I understand but still makes me a little sad. I'm used to doing everything with him because his job schedule is pretty flexible so it's rough on me when he can't get away. But he had a tournament yesterday in Weatherford so it was just one of those things. (Got 3rd place! Way to go Coach G & Boys)
However last night he decided to drive to Purcell because he couldn't wait to see me and pictures of Tucker. He was so cute when he got here last night. He went straight to the computer and had me explain what he was looking at as he looked through the pictures one at a time over and over. He's a cute Daddy-to-be!
After the ultrasound my mom and I made a Hobby Lobby stop and got several really fun/cute things! I got to pick out fabric that my Aunt Teresa is going to use to make Tuck a quilt and it's uber cute! I also stocked up on some half off frames and several other little projects for Tuck's Welcoming Parties. This baby shopping is so fun! Few things are actually as good as you imagine them to be, but this truly is! We're spending today with family, although I'm sure some more shopping might sneak in too!
We got to see his profile.
What his little foot looks like,
His face. How much he weighs right now, & that he is DEFIANTLY a boy! (I'll leave that picture off to save future humiliation) It was such a fun experience and I'm so glad I got to share it with my mom.
Golf season has put a slight damper on Chris getting to do everything with me, which I understand but still makes me a little sad. I'm used to doing everything with him because his job schedule is pretty flexible so it's rough on me when he can't get away. But he had a tournament yesterday in Weatherford so it was just one of those things. (Got 3rd place! Way to go Coach G & Boys)
However last night he decided to drive to Purcell because he couldn't wait to see me and pictures of Tucker. He was so cute when he got here last night. He went straight to the computer and had me explain what he was looking at as he looked through the pictures one at a time over and over. He's a cute Daddy-to-be!
After the ultrasound my mom and I made a Hobby Lobby stop and got several really fun/cute things! I got to pick out fabric that my Aunt Teresa is going to use to make Tuck a quilt and it's uber cute! I also stocked up on some half off frames and several other little projects for Tuck's Welcoming Parties. This baby shopping is so fun! Few things are actually as good as you imagine them to be, but this truly is! We're spending today with family, although I'm sure some more shopping might sneak in too!
Friday, April 2, 2010
FAITH
A certain amount of faith goes into most things in life. But with adoption you have to have an extra dose because of the amount of trust involved with both sides. We have to trust that our birth mom has been honest with information about her child and that she will do what she says she's going to do. And she has to believe that we will follow through with what we've said we'll do. And even though there haven't been any signs either way, it's still hard to believe a total stranger sometimes. Different days I feel different things and today I'm just a little nervous that something could go wrong. Not that I think it's going to, but just that doubt that creeps in sometimes is getting to me today. Which is interesting because today is Good Friday, a day of victory! My attitude needs to change from one of doubt to one of victory!
Yesterday I got to go to a doctor's appointment with our Birth Mom. I got to hear Tucker's heartbeat for about a minute and tried to let Chris hear it over the phone. Her doctor was really great and super sweet! He asked me several questions and was very excited to meet me and to finalize our birth plans. It was a great day! It was another big day. But then again everyday these days seems to be big. It was a wonderful sound that I could've listened to all day! I taped it but I'm not sure how to get it on here, I'll work on it!
I also got to meet some of our Birth Mom's family, which was a pleasure. They had several questions for me, naturally. But overall I think that meeting went well too.
But one of the most exciting things is that today I get to go back to the doctor with our Birth Mom for an ultrasound! I did not expect them to do another ultrasound this late in her pregnancy but they scheduled it yesterday. I can't wait to see our baby's face and feet and hands and everything else! I thought this would be something I didn't get to have with this baby but our Birth Mom is just so gracious to us. Chris has a golf tournament today so once again he won't get to be there, but I'll tape that too so maybe tomorrow there will be two videos!
Yesterday I got to go to a doctor's appointment with our Birth Mom. I got to hear Tucker's heartbeat for about a minute and tried to let Chris hear it over the phone. Her doctor was really great and super sweet! He asked me several questions and was very excited to meet me and to finalize our birth plans. It was a great day! It was another big day. But then again everyday these days seems to be big. It was a wonderful sound that I could've listened to all day! I taped it but I'm not sure how to get it on here, I'll work on it!
I also got to meet some of our Birth Mom's family, which was a pleasure. They had several questions for me, naturally. But overall I think that meeting went well too.
But one of the most exciting things is that today I get to go back to the doctor with our Birth Mom for an ultrasound! I did not expect them to do another ultrasound this late in her pregnancy but they scheduled it yesterday. I can't wait to see our baby's face and feet and hands and everything else! I thought this would be something I didn't get to have with this baby but our Birth Mom is just so gracious to us. Chris has a golf tournament today so once again he won't get to be there, but I'll tape that too so maybe tomorrow there will be two videos!
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