Just the Hem

One of the things I want to remember...

I think all babies develop little comforts that help them fall asleep, calm down or just give them a little reassurance. My sweet fella is no exception. But his "thing" is a little different then most. He doesn't have a special blanket, lovie or stuffed animal that he migrates to. He hasn't used a pacifier since he was four  month old. And he isn't uber attached to a sippy cup. (shout out to Cousin Emrie!) As a child, mine was playing with my hair. I still catch myself doing this if I can't fall asleep, deeply focusing or if I'm worrying about something. It's funny how those things stick with us from the very beginning. Tucker's comfort of choice is the hem of my shirt. Sleeve, bottom hem, collar - he doesn't care as long as he can sneak his little fingers under, run his fingers back and forth, touch my skin or just hold on. 

Tucker has done this since he was pretty small. When I'd give him his bottles with his arm tucked under mine it would only take a few seconds and I'd feel little fingers sneaking their way up the sleeve of my shirt. Now days he does this anytime he gets sleepy or needy. If I'm not holding him he comes and leans his head on my legs and holds the bottom of my shirt. If we're laying or sitting down he prefers my sleeve, but he'll take the collar of my shirt if necessary. Even if I try to avoid it, he persists. It's pretty sweet unless its the middle of the night and he's refusing to go back to sleep or if he has a hang nail. ha.

Today as I was laying down with Tucker for his nap it occurred to me that this is another thing I'll miss someday all too soon and I don't want to forget it. Sweet little fingers finding their comfort in their momma's shirt is pretty precious. I'm so glad I get to do this everyday. I'm reminded not everyone gets to stay home and cuddle with their babies all day. Even on the long days that seem to last forever Tucker reminds me that this is what I was made to do and just how blessed I am to be his Momma. 

Maybe 30 won't be so bad?

A few weeks ago my college roommates from OBU and I got to have an extended reunion in New York City! We will all turn 30 sometime in the next twleve months, what better excuse did we need to take a vacation together? Five of the six roommates got to come and it was perfect! We laughed, ate, reacquainted, reminisced, explored and slept thru the night! Our "honorary" roommate, Luke Whorton, moved to NYC last summer and graciously allowed five girls and all their stuff to take over his apartment for almost a week. I think it was pretty even pay back for all the time he spent at the Philly House in college.
We got caught up and just loved on each other as we crossed different sites off of our lists. The highlights of the trip for me were our conversation, specifically at Serendipity, and seeing Jersey Boys on Broadway. (HIGHLY recommend it!)
Now for the pictures...

Myra, Rachael, Me, Megan & Kristin. Missing Jennie. The things I've learned from each of these women have been a blessing to my life. Each are in a different stage then when we spent a year and a half loving each other thru our first bumpy stages of independence, but I love them more after this trip then I did when I had the privilege of seeing them daily. 

 Jersey Boys was FANTASTIC!!! My first Broadway experience and it was wonderful. We laughed and sang along with the cast all the way through. It's coming to Tulsa this summer and it's worth every penny!

 At Serendipity. We waited a long time to get in this joint but the conversations we shared over frozen hot chocolate were well worth the wait. Sweet bonding time.

 Kristin was the first of the group to cross the milestone into her 30th year so we celebrated her birthday at a swanky restaurant called Budda Kahn (that's how it sounds I have NO idea how to spell it.) But the food was delish and it was a real treat to get dressed up a little and go out on the town for dinner at 11:30 p.m. holy moly! We couldn't believe all of us old Momma's made it through without falling asleep. (3 of the 4 are Momma's and 1 is pregnant)

 This was in the elevator on the way to Luke's "Penthouse." 

 In Central Park. We got a little out of hand in Central Park with the pictures/poses but we had a ball! It's a bit different trying to get good pictures when toddlers aren't involved. We all commented how much easier it is when you aren't trying to get anyone to look/smile. 

 At Belvedere Castle in Central Park. It was quite a hike to get to this beauty, but it was well worth it.

Waiting on our lunch. We ate so well! We decided there are so many choices restaurants have to be good to survive! We were never disappointed!

Throughout the trip I tried to remind myself to soak these moments up because a trip like this doesn't come along often. We made countless priceless memories and had a blast exploring the City that Never Sleeps. I'm so glad these girls are apart of my life! I couldn't have picked five better girls to share life with. Until the next reunion...

Bieber Fever

Two weekends ago we got free HBO from our satillite provider. When that happens I go through and DVR any movies we haven't seen to watch at our convience. One of them that I chose this time was Justin Bieber's "Never Say Never." Up until this point I haven't known much about the kid besides his annoying hair flipping tendencies. Chris and I watched the movie and were really impressed with his talent and love for people. After watch his movie I just fell in love with the little cutie. I mean who doesn't love a 16 year old boy who still loves on his momma, grandma and other adults in his life without embarrassment despite vast amounts of fame and attention?
Anyway, the next day I went on iTunes to purchase his album. I was listening to it and singing along with Baby, Baby. It only took one time and Tucker was also coming down with Bieber Fever! He LOVES Baby, Baby and a few other songs on Justin's cd. He asks repeatedly throughout the day for Baby, Baby and he sings the chorus so sweetly. The way he hold "mine" out at the end of the chorus just makes me smile every time. He also really likes "Ennie-Meanie." I realize this exposure to pop music will make some of my music snob friends chringe, but it's stinkin' cute!
I am loving watching his preferences develop and being able to communicate what he wants. Its such a fun phase, that apparently will have Bieber as a part of the soundtrack.

Room to Roam

We moved Tucker to a twin bed in October kind of on accident. We happened to go to Tulsa for a few days just to get away and he slept in a normal bed at our hotel so we tried it when we got home. It was a miracle for us because he began to sleep all night for the first time in his life! This glory lasted all of two months. In December we went on a two week ski trip with my family and then slept in various other beds over the holidays. Since then he has decided he'd much rather sleep in the middle. This equals little room for his parents on the edges of our queen sized bed. We have adapted because you get to a certain point and it doesn't matter if your all that comfortable you just must sleep. He starts out in his bed every night and makes it until 3-4 a.m. and then he comes to my side of the bed and says, "hi momma. hey. hey momma. hi." until I reach over and pull him up and over my body to his spot. We have tried getting back up and taking him back to his bed. He then reappears a hour or two later. This week we've just been letting him fall to sleep in our bed and then taking him back to his own.
This morning however, Chris had to go open the church up for some ladies who are working out there at 5:30 a.m. At this point last night Tucker was laying with his head towards the foot of our bed and about half on top of me (as usual, I seem to be his very favorite pillow.) So I had Chris move him back to his bed and it left me and our dog alone. It was fabulous. I rolled over and stretched out. Such luxury! Chris and I have been talking about upgrading to a king size but this morning I told him maybe I'd just keep the old one just for me. Man it was nice to stretch out and not have anyone snoring or on top of me or making me hot or kicking me or anything else.
I've always loved my bed, but now that the space is so limited when I have it all to myself I love it all the more!

The Itch

Lately I've been thinking and praying a lot about baby #2... how they will enter our family? Are we ready for another baby? When is the right time to begin perusing that addition? Should we do any infertility treatments or just go immediately back to DPAS? Lots of thoughts. The planner in me really does best when those things are kind of lined out. I've always known I wanted my children close in age (probably because my closest sister is just 17 months younger then me) so I've kinda thought when the oldest was two I'd like the second one to come. Tucker will be two in April. Adoption is so different because you literally have NO idea how long the process will take. Tucker took three weeks start to finish. Right now we are leaning more toward adopting again. I have known since Tucker was just days old that I wanted to adopt again. Partly because I want him to have someone in our family who he can relate to and match, but also because of the passion that adoption has become in my life and heart. While infertility treatments are certainly an option they are expensive and emotionally rough. We just don't have a peace about going down that road right now. Who knows what the future will hold though. 

I woke up early this morning with my head and heart still full of my dream. I RARELY remember my dreams anymore, maybe because I don't sleep in long enough successions to be coherent enough to remember. Who knows? Anyways. In my dream we had just gotten home from Africa (we're going in late July) and we got a call from DPAS saying there was a birth family who wanted to meet us. The couple had several children already and just couldn't afford another. She was already born, but just a few days old. We walked into DPAS offices and were greeted by Sandy. She gave us a super cute diaper bag with one tiny diaper in it and we kept walking into an area of the DPAS offices that we'd never been in before (and actually doesn't exist). I was met there by Dierdra, the Director and Tucker's birth mom's case worker, holding a infant seat with a beautiful, brown, baby girl in it. She told me the birth family was in the building so to stay put, but that I could hold her. Chris disappeared at this point to go do paper work or something. So just Tucker, Dierdra and I were left in the room with the baby. I held that sweet baby girl and tried to remind myself that nothing was decided for sure and not to let myself get too attached, but already felt my heart bonding with this baby. She then peed through her clothes and blanket. Dierdra left to go find her something new to wear and I tried to soothe this naked girl with just a towel to wrap around her. I got her calmed down and was sitting in a chair talking to Tucker about her and letting him love her when the birth family walked in behind me. I didn't know they were there for a while. Tuck and I talked and rocked and sang to this sweet baby as they watched. I finally turned to see tears rolling down this birth mom's face and mine immediately matched hers. She told me they'd been calling her Rosie, which I remember thinking was weird because she was brown, not all pink like white babies. We shared a few minutes and the name we had picked out and then we left with a baby girl. 

It just made me anxious for the day when we see the plan God already has worked out for Baby G #2. With Tucker's story and all the details that lined up so perfectly so that he would be ours I KNOW beyond a shadow of a doubt that God already has a specific baby and birth family chosen for us. I know that His sovereignty is greater then my plans and my ability to prepare for what's next. And I'm so thankful for that. 

Here's to Baby #2! Maybe it will be fast and smooth just like our first adoption journey was.

Side note: If you're in OKC, Norman or Edmond today to go and eat a Johnnie's and mention DPAS. Johnnie's is donating part of their proceeds to our wonderful agency today. 

Random Facts

• Attempt #1 at potty training was NOT a success! After five full days of no diapers, except for sleeping, we decided he's just not getting it. Tucker is still young and we just wanted to try. He did use the bathroom several times and is holding it longer so he did learn something. We'll try again in a month or two.
• Tonight and tomorrow we are hosting the missionaries I lived with in Zambia, Africa during college. I haven't seen them since I left Mazabuka in 2004. I'm so excited to see them and to lead a trip of students and adults from our church back to Zambia in July.
• My college roommates and I are having a reunion in February in... NEW YORK CITY!!! I'm so excited. No kids. No husbands. Just us girls and the big city! I can't wait to spend nearly a week with these girls and explore a city I've always wanted to go to. 
• Tucker is talking up a storm! He says almost anything and means what he says. It's so fun/funny to hear him. I just don't think it gets much cuter.
• Tuck is also not sleeping again. He slept with us for the three weeks we were gone for the holidays and is not liking sleeping alone. This is making for long nights again and super sleepy parents. No good for Tucker or his parents!
• On a much more serious note, We lost our first student this week. One of our senior girls died in her sleep Wednesday night. We are walking through this first in our ministry with caution and sad hearts. I don't really have words for this yet. It has been amazing to watch our community and our church respond to this family's needs. It's also made me so proud to watch how my sweet husband has handled this tragedy and loved on so many people. I'm lucky to have him!

Lunch with Tris

On our way back to Sayre after all our Christmas fun we got to have lunch with one of my best friends from college. It's been way too long since we've seen him! It was so good to sit and chat and enjoy Tucker's Onion Burgers with Tristan.

Here we are in the good old days at OBU. This was probably 2003. We were such babies! But college wouldn't have been the same without this precious friend!

After lunch at Tucker's we had to snap a few pics with sign!

This guy really enjoyed his grilled cheese and "fwies."