Bring Bennet Home

Wednesday, July 30, 2014


Few things are sure in this life, but death is certainly one of them. This week my sister's grandpa-in-law passed away after a battle with cancer and a stroke. He went down hill quickly and is rejoicing in Heaven. He spent his life well and his family has peace knowing he is with his Savior. As our family discussed how we could best love his family my other sister and I decided we would make a donation to charity rather then send flowers.
(When my father-in-law passed away in April there were TONS of flowers. Literally hundreds of dollars spent on things that will die too. I don't get it.)
So anyway in discussing what we should give to in Leon's honor and asking what he was passionate about, I began thinking what I'd want people to give towards when I died. (I mean it! When I die do NOT send flowers or plants. Give to something, anything that does good in the world. And love my family. Feed them. Cry with them. Take care of them. I hope my casket and my boys are all that fills the front of the church when I go. Remind my family of this good blog readers.)
So here's my list of what I hope people do in my memory based on my passions...
What I pray my life shows over my words and short comings...
What I hope will go on after my time on earth is through...
What my children will learn from watching me...
1. The Gospel. I know, I know token "preacher's wife" thing to say, but really. I don't mean being a good Southern Baptist and going to church every week. I mean loving people. Meeting needs when you see them in the best way you know how. Opening your heart to hurts because the Gospel demands community. Allowing your life to be spent giving of yourself because Jesus gave all of himself for us. Allowing your homes and wallets and calendars to be available for His purposes and plans. I have made VERY SMALL sacrifices for the sake of the Gospel (especially compared to many around the world) but they have not felt insignificant to me. They are worth it. So I would hope people would give to organizations that make the Gospel known, not just by word but also in deed.
2. Orphans. That's such a sad sounding word, kinda scary really. But three such orphans have changed my life and made me who I am, a Mother. Short of the Gospel my orphans saved me from myself and have made me see myself like no one else ever has or probably could have. They have shown me the ugliest, most selfish parts of me and also the parts of me that were made to give away for their sake. I see God differently because of my boys. I see need differently. I see hurts other miss because I've lived them and walked through them with Birth Mothers. We are commissioned to care for the orphans but honestly the blessing of this commandment lies in the heart of the Believer not in what the Believer can do for the child involved. I am the blessed one to get to be a Momma, and not just anyone's Momma, but Tucker, Bennett & Casen's Momma. Best. Commandment. EVER. So give to those in foster care, group homes, domestic, international, special needs, private, closed, open... ANY kind of adoption. Let part of my legacy be giving homes and families to kids who need them.
3. Africa. In 2004 (gulp and I'm old) I spent the summer in Zambia, Africa and it changed me completely. It forever stamped my heart for people in real need. We don't get in America. We can't. But there are still places where running water and electricity are luxuries, not necessities. Where women are still treated like second class citizens. Where rape is expected not reported. Stand in the gap for the defenseless! Support missionaries or orphanages or rescue missions or short term trips. Just love the unreached.
4. My family. My boys. Chris. My sisters. My mom. Maybe monetary gifts wouldn't be needed for them if I died, but your love would be. They would need food. Time. Shared tears. They are my life's investment and I would want to know that I spent my life well. That maybe my influence led my boys to become men who loved Jesus and others more then themselves. That my love would have somehow affected their lives and the way the live it out. I would want to know that no matter when I died that they would be ok.
So there you have it. My list of things to do when I die. I made this list for myself so I would be more conscience of how I'm investing my days. I would hate for people to show up to my funeral and talk about how beautiful the flowers were instead of the places I invested my life. I want to give, go, do and bless more then I take. I've prayed everyday since college that I would be a blessing in some small way and I still pray that is true. Maybe I mean it more now then I did when I started praying that. I hope so.