Bring Bennet Home

Wednesday, November 7, 2012

Bennett's Birth Story

Adoption births are always a little different because there is a chance that the adoptive parents could miss the birth. If you are delivering the baby yourself there is no chance of that. We are six and half hours away from Odessa, Texas where Bennett was to be born so we knew there was a chance we would not be able to make it in time. But it was really important to our Birth Mom, J, that we be there waiting for Bennett as soon as he arrived. We wanted to be there, obviously, because no one wants to miss that.
On Wednesday night, October 10th, Tucker and I skipped church and headed to Purcell after his nap to attend a close family friends funeral on Thursday morning. Tucker was going to spend the weekend with my mom and I was going to come back to Sayre Thursday afternoon because we had our Big Weekend (aka Disciple Now) that coming weekend. I made it to Weatherford, about an hour away from our house, and I got a call from Holly Ann at Addy's Hope Adoption Agency. She told me J had started to bleed a little and was heading to the hospital to get checked out so she just wanted to put us on stand by. J thought it was her mucus plug but she wasn't sure. Chris was still in church so I couldn't discuss what I should do with him so I called my mom. We decided I would keep driving east and she would meet me in Oklahoma City to get Tucker and then I would immediately head back to Sayre to get Chris. He would spend those few hours making sure he had everything covered for the weekend and all our stuff was packed. I dropped Tuck off and was heading home when I got a call that it was a false alarm and she was not in labor yet. She was just dilated to a one and the doctors didn't think anything would be happening anytime soon. Chris and I half expected to be woken up in the middle of the night to drive there and debated driving halfway just to be closer, but decided to stay put because of the weekend's event. No news of anything on Thursday. I was home without my toddler as a distraction so I did what any antsy, nesting Momma would do -- I cleaned.
Friday J had a doctors appointment and was dilated to a two and was still bleeding, but not much. So we busied ourselves with more cleaning and Big Weekend preparations. The day flew by and before we knew it we were surrounded by our big kids, friends, supportive adults and sweet college kids who were all making Big Weekend a success. Friday night went off without a hitch! Saturday morning as I made my way to the church I got a text saying that J had woken up with heavier bleeding so stand by. I didn't go to the morning service, but helped with lunch prep instead. Just as the kids began to filter through the lunch line I got a call. I passed off my all important bread serving duty and hurried down the hall where I could hear. Holly Ann told me she thought we'd better head that way!
Within thirty minutes we were on the road heading west towards our baby. We left our youth group in the hands of our eldest son, Jonathan (our 23 year old former intern who lived with us for almost two years) to the sounds of our kids cheering and precious adults praying over us. We drove straight to Odessa with only one stop in Amarillo for gas and lunch. We pulled into town about 7:15 that evening. We called Holly Ann and she said to go grab some dinner and we'd meet her back at the hospital at 8 o'clock. We were driving around looking for something to eat and we got a call from her. She told us to turn around and haul it back to the hospital. J was dilated to a ten and was pushing. We met Holly Ann's husband in the hospital parking lot as Holly Ann rushed upstairs to be with J. I tried to compose myself and gather a few things we'd need right away out of our hospital bag. We hurried up the elevators and my sweet husband made small talk with Holly Ann's husband. I was too nervous/anxious/excited to carry on conversation. We sat in the waiting room for just a few minutes, but it felt much longer. We got a text with a picture of our sweet baby and tried to tell what we could from that. We sat anxiously and sent texts to those who were praying for us.
Holly Ann came to the doors and motioned for us to come with her. She told us he was doing great. Bennett weighed 6 lbs. 12 oz. and was 20 inches long (just like his big brother). We walked down a maze of hallways and soon stood outside the hospital room we would occupy for the next three days. Holly Ann asked if we were ready and with a deep breath and a nod we entered a room and became parents of two.
One of the nurses was holding a tiny bundle of sweetness and she handed him to me. As the tears cleared my vision I got my first glance at Bennett Gordon. My heart plummeted deep in love just as it had two and half years earlier in a very similar setting. Chris looked over my shoulder and held us both as we took in all of our new son's facial features. He was just beautiful! We got footprints and took a few pictures before being ushered into the nursery for our little bundle to be warmed, measured, bathed and vaccinated. We spent a while in there watching our African nurse, Betsy, take care of Ben.
We spent the rest of the night just staring at our boy, texting and calling family and friends, and skyping with his older brother who was pretty worried about where his parents were and what we were holding.
Sunday, October 14th, we had the extreme honor to get to meet and visit with J, Bennett's Birth Mom. From the beginning of this process she has wanted this to be a closed adoption. She didn't want to meet us or see the baby at all. This is her sixth baby, but the first one she has placed for adoption. This wouldn't have been what we would've chosen, but we are also very supportive of what she felt like was best for her. On Saturday while we were driving Holly Ann told us that J had expressed some interest in wanting to meet us so we began praying we'd have that opportunity. On Sunday, before she left the hospital, J decided she did want to meet us. We spent about thirty minutes with her and got to say thank you and assure her of how we would raise Bennett. We got to update her on his first 24 hours of life and hear her heart about her decision. It was precious and a time I will always treasure. I'm so glad she gave us a chance to see her face and know a little bit of who she is. Even though she doesn't want a continued relationship or knowledge of Bennett she is still a part of our family and his story. What a blessing she is to us!
We spent Monday and Tuesday at the hospital. They don't release babies until they are 48 hours old at that hospital so since Bennett was born at 7:50 pm we spent another night. On Tuesday, October 16th, we were released from the hospital, but not from the state of Texas. There is an interstate law that doesn't allow adoptive parents to take their new children over state lines until proper paperwork has been filed and approved in the county of the baby's birth, Austin, Tulsa and then go back through all those channels. There was some miscommunication on how long we would have to stay so that Tuesday night we drove straight from Odessa to Shamrock, which is less then 40 miles from our house, and stayed in a hotel. We waited around to hear the entire next day in the hotel lobby and finally heard there was a mistake and we wouldn't be going home within 24 hours. So we had my mom, who was already on her way to meet her newest grandson, stop and pick up a packed travel trailer of Chris's dads. The plan was always to stay in the trailer, but when we thought we'd only have to stay a short time we didn't have people bring it over to us, as was planned. Chris set up the trailer in the dark and we spent a VERY cold first night as a family of four.
We spent the next week living in I-40 West RV Park in Shamrock Texas. I stayed with the boys the whole time while different family members came and went. Chris also went back and forth for work and laundry purposes. After lots of red tape we finally got the word we could complete the last few miles of our journey and bring Bennett home on October 25th.
We are adjusting and loving having two boys around. While we were in Odessa we found out that our February baby will be another BOY!!! My Three Sons around here in just a few months. Until then we are soaking up these two brothers and preparing for the upcoming holidays.
We have felt all your love and prayers and are so grateful to be surrounded by such wonderful friends and family. We are truly blessed.

6 comments:

Leslie said...

Another boy!!! So exciting. I am so glad you got to meet J...what a picture of the Gospel you must have been for her! Congrats on all the new little men in your life :)

alisha said...

love it!!! so happy for you all!

alisha said...

so happy for you all!!!

Erin said...

In tears as I read this aloud to Russell. What an amazing day!! Loved this phrase: "and with a deep breath and a nod we entered a room and became parents of two"...wow. Amazing. Congrats on Baby Boy #2...and #3 coming soon!

Little S said...

WOOHOO! Super excited for you guys! Enjoyed reading the play by play. Praying for you guys as you incorporate a new life into your routine and praying for J--that your brief time with her planted a seed that will begin to sprout! Can't wait to see pictures!

LuluTintedGlasses said...

SO exciting! And wonderful to meet J, even for just a brief moment. So so so wonderful.