Bring Bennet Home

Friday, February 22, 2013

Casen's Birth Story

Casen's birth was like his entire adoption -- totally different than the other two. His was the only one that we had a pre-existing relationship with his Birth Momma. We've known K for almost three years and have walked through Tucker's adoption, maintaining a relationship, unknowns and plenty of surprises with her. We have watched her roller coaster life from a distance and been able to be one of the very few constants. Our relationship has been much the same as everything else in her life - it's had plenty of ups and downs. But we know her. We know where she lives, how she lives, who she lives with and it is unsettling when she's not carrying your child. But when she is it was hard. Really hard sometimes. I'm friends with her on Facebook (which I do NOT recommend to any other prospective adoptive Mommas out there) and so I know a lot or at least a slice of what's going on with her day to day. It's scary when you know the things that she's doing that could affect your baby. It's hard to trust, forgive, love unconditionally and hold your tongue sometimes.
We also weren't seeking this adoption. With both other boys we put ourselves out there and were ready to add to our family. Three months and three weeks in between middle and little is a lot closer then we had planned. We were asked without seeking. The answer was easy and immediate for us, but it still was different.
Just like every other step of the process Casen's delivery was different too. I went with K to her last doctors appointment the Wednesday before his arrival. She was anxious, uncomfortable and tired of being pregnant. I was anxious, antsy and worried after waiting the longest we'd ever waited for a baby. September 10th to February 4th is a long time to us! The doctor told us that if Casen didn't come over the weekend he would induce K the following Monday morning at 5:30 am. She was determined to get things started so we tried a couple of labor inducing wives tales that didn't work and I headed home, well back to Purcell where the big brothers were staying with my Nana. When I got back to town I went to get a manicure since the boys were both sleeping. As I was leaving the nail salon my mom called to tell me Tucker woke up from his nap running a fever and our plans for the next few days derailed. Chris and I decided for the boys and I to stay put in Purcell and he'd come to us Thursday after work. Both boys continued to get sicker. Snottier. Coughing more. Fussier. Great! Just what you want a few days before a new baby is born into your family. We called our doctor and I asked nurse friends who all said just wait it out. So on Saturday night Chris and I headed back to Sayre for church leaving our partially sick children with my family. On Tuesday both boys tested positive for RSV and remained in Purcell for a full week after Casen came home. We quarantined the older boys at my mom's house and Casen stayed with my Nana. I went back and forth between the three boys with showers and changes of clothes in between. It was a rough week for all of us!
Chris and I headed to Lawton late Sunday afternoon and had dinner with K. As we settled into our hotel room my nerves won out over sleep until about 1 am. I knew we had to get up extra early, but knowing our baby was coming the next day left me restless. I had never known with certainty I was going to meet a son the next day before.
At 4:15 my alarm went off and as I opened my eyes something else happened. Sharp pain shot through my left eyeball. I tried to blink, wash it out and had Chris look to see what was in my eye. Nothing helped. It watered for the next three days without relief. It got a little better during the middle of the day Monday and I was at least functional, if not totally comfortable for Casen's birth. Long story short... I couldn't open my eyes hardly at all. I was in pain for our entire hospital stay and had to have conversations with my eyes closed. I took showers in the dark and was fairly useless to my sweet husband when it came to caring for our new baby boy. We called our Sayre eye doctor who called in some drops for me on Tuesday and they helped a little bit. My mom made me an appointment with an eye doctor in Purcell late Wednesday afternoon where I learned I had torn my cornea. When I opened my eye Monday morning my saggy cornea stuck to my eyelid and it tore when I opened my eye. Neat. The doctor had to make a clean cut around the affected area and I had to wear a band-aid contact (who knew they had those?) for two days and he put me on pain medicine because of how rough I felt. But by Friday afternoon I was feeling MUCH better! Just what every girl wants to hear... she has something else that's saggy, right? This can happen again so he gave me some cream and eye drops to use daily to help prevent it reoccuring. It was super painful, but thankfully eyes heal quickly! Now back to the baby...
We picked up K just after 5 am Monday morning and headed to the hospital. We got her all checked in and hooked up and they started her pitocin around 7:30. She was dilated to a three. The doctor came by and broke her water around 10:30 and K dilated slowly through the day, about half a centimeter a hour. K had two friends to support her all day, my mom and sisters arrived around lunch time and our adoption caseworker came early in the afternoon. We all left her alone around 3 to try to rest and but not long after one of her friends came to get us saying she was ready to push.
K was such a trooper! No epidural and you could barely tell she was even in labor. As a contraction would hit she would close her eyes, take a deep breath and if you weren't paying attention you wouldn't of even know she was in pain. We rushed back to the delivery room and things started moving REALLY quickly! The nurse checked her and confirmed she was at a 10 and began to prep the room. K asked her to hurry, but she didn't think it was urgent yet. K finally called out for people to get in there because he was coming. The nurses didn't even get the bottom of the bed down or both of her legs in the stir-ups when Casen Cole Gordon made his quick enterance. The doctor had just slipped his gloves on in time to catch our new baby boy! K didn't even really push and he was here! Chris got to cut his umbilical chord and the nurses took him to clean him up.
It was over almost before we knew what was happening. As I held K's hand and watched our baby come into the world I was overwhelmed with all that was taking place. It was like I was hovering over the room watching all of the activity. I looked around and into many faces amazed that Casen was here. I hugged this woman who had made me a mother twice as tears streaked down both of our faces, speechless at her gift and her place in my heart. K isn't easy. Our relationship is often awkward and sometimes difficult, but she has given two of the greatest gifts of my life and for that I'm forever grateful. The intimidation I worried over during Tucker's adoption is gone and the possessiveness I felt has been replaced with understanding that there is a special place for both of us in our sons lives.
We welcome our third baby boy! Casen Cole Gordon was born at 4:11 pm and weighed 6 pounds and 14 ounces. He was 18.75 inches long with lots of dark black hair and looking nothing like his brother like we all expected he would. He was super alert for quite a while right after he was born. His big eyes taking in this new world of his and lots of new people. K chose Cole because her middle name is Nicole. We love that he will walk through life with a name from his First Momma and one from his Forever parents because he is a precious combination of both parents and holds pieces of all three of our hearts.
We fell in love just as quickly the third time as we did the first and second. What a blessing this boy is already to our family! Adoption amazes me every time. It's such a beautiful picture of how much God loves us and how He blesses and grows families. We are so confident that the three boys we have were supposed to be ours. Each of their stories and how they became Gordon's is equally special and a miracle. We are so thankful for these two special ladies who have allowed us the honor of parenting the best three fellas in the whole world!

3 comments:

Erin said...

Crying!!!! You are such an excellent Mommy and quite the inspiration, my friend...saggy cornea and all. ;)

Leslie said...

Oh my word, I can't believe you went three days with a torn cornea! Jonathan always talks about how painful that is. Love hearing all your thoughts on this special experience! Hope to meet all your boys someday!

Auburn said...

Wow!! Congratulations again! Much love to all of you.