A New Summer

This summer feels different. It is going to be different, at least for me. Summer for the Gordon's usually means camps, kids, trips, no sleep and something going all the time and for one of us it still will be. But for Momma G all of that has changed. It was inevitable and I knew it was coming. However, that knowledge hasn't lessened the blow.
As soon as we found out Tucker was coming I backed out of all of my summer commitments without hesitation. Summer is now here and Super Summer is next weekend and I'm not going. for real. I guess I just feel left out in some ways. In youth ministry summer is our busy season. It's the time where relationships flourish and memories are made. I don't know what that looks like with an infant. Tucker has changed everything about our life and we love it, this piece of the puzzle is just harder somehow.
From Chris's perspective - he is bummed because he will be apart from us so much of the time and I won't be by his side for every event. He isn't as excited as usual because he still HAS to do all that we usually do together. When you spend the majority of your time working together it's hard when half of the team is missing.
Usually by this point in the year I have been at the church at least three days a week for several weeks. I have to do lists in order. People lined up to help. Copies of forms color coded. Office and medical boxes ready for trips. But not this year. I haven't even figured out how to shower everyday little alone how to accomplish life as it used to be. I'm not complaining. I LOVE getting to be a Momma and I wouldn't trade it. All of this is just part of the transition process and I don't know that having nine months instead of three weeks to get ready would've made any difference for this leg of the journey.