Snakes, Snails & Puppy Dog Tails...

The big question since July 25th when we stood frustrated and confused in Will Rodgers Airport is why didn't God want us to go to Zambia? After almost two years of planning and saving and fundraising why did He only want us to get to OKC before our plans derailed? Lots of people have asked us these sort of questions. Parents. Church members. Financial supporters. And our answer is the same every time. We don't know, but we trust that God does and He has a purpose for our cancelled trip.
When we didn't leave on Thursday, July 26th, I called DPAS to tell them to start showing our profile. If I wasn't going to be out of the country I was ready to get the ball rolling on welcoming our second baby. I was excited to call and officially become a waiting family. On Friday, July 26th, we went to the lake with my sisters and mom to play on their new boat, "The Fiesta." We spent all day on the water and it was great to just relax after a very stressful week.
Around 4:30 I checked my phone and saw I had several texts and missed calls from a number I didn't recognize. After reading my messages I figured out they were from our Pastors daughter. She and her husband have struggled with infertility as well and they have one adopted and one biological son. We have had several conversations about these commonalities so she knew we were ready to start the adoption process again.
A friend of theirs from Lubbock had contacted them about an adoption agency in Midland, Texas called Addy's Hope who is just beginning domestic adoptions and looking for families to join their program. They were offering to waive all their fees until you were chosen by a birth family. They had a birth mom that was due in October and wondered if they would be interested in this baby. They have thought of adopting again, but haven't started any paperwork or background checks etc and those things take time that they wouldn't have with this particular situation. So they thought of us.
That evening we emailed the agency for a little more information and creeped on their website. We heard back that the baby was full Hispanic and the 6th child in its family. The sex was unknown, but it had very minimal exposure to alcohol in the first trimester of the pregnancy and no drug exposure. We really wanted this next baby to match Tucker's skin tone (any mixture of browns) and exposures of any kind just make us nervous. With both of those things in place we decided to move forward with Addy's Hope and do a little more research.
They were out of the office the entire next week at a conference so we didn't hear back from them until last Monday, August 6th. Holly Ann, Director of Addy's Hope, called us and we finally got to visit with her and ask through a list of questions. The entire week before when we didn't hear from them Chris and I both went back and forth wanting to throw our hat in the ring with another agency or not. It made me nervous not to have the experience and relationship we have with DPAS. I didn't love the idea that this is their very first go around with domestic adoption because its a lot more about managing people/relationships then paperwork and government offices like international adoption. We prayed a lot and sought some wise council from trusted friends and family. Friday the 3rd I woke up and knew I wanted to send our stuff in. I just felt like I would wonder if that baby was supposed to be ours if we had to wait a long time with DPAS. I thought if we got six months down the road and still hadn't been matched I'd think we missed our chance. After talking to Holly Ann and getting more details. I sent in our application and extra profile book. We also faxed DPAS a release to send Addy's Hope all of our information and paperwork. We had done our due diligence and left it in God's hands. Our prayer was if this baby was supposed to ours that he would be and if not the birth mom would choose another family.
I tried not to worry and to trust the Lord with this HUGE possibility, but I struggled. We found out on Monday the Birth Mom wants a totally closed adoption and we began believing this probably wasn't our baby. On Tuesday we learned that the baby was a boy and I questioned if he was ours even more. On Friday Holly Ann called and said that there were now five families she was presenting instead of just two. My hope waned. She also said that she hadn't received our stuff from DPAS and wondered if I could have someone call her to verify it was on its way and we were who we say we are. I did, but no one called. (VERY unlike our agency) We thought for sure this wasn't our baby.
We knew Holly Ann was presenting families to the Birth Mom at 3 pm. She called us around 4:30 and we were sure she was going to tell us the birth mom had chosen another family. But she didn't say that. She asked us if we were ready to be parents again!
She felt like she was supposed to show the Birth Mom our profile book even without any paperwork in hand. Just like DPAS showed our book to Tucker's birth mom also lacking some steps in the process because of a very similar feeling. Our God is faithful!
So we will be welcoming another beautiful, brown baby boy into our home in October. The Birth Mom isn't due until October 31st, but she was four weeks early with her last pregnancy so we will be on standby from the end of September until this guy arrives. We get to be in the hospital with him and take him home from there.
There are a lot of details that still need to be worked out, some fundraising that needs to be done, and questions that need to be answered but for now we are relishing the fact that God's plans are better then our own. We know He is sovereign over cancelled trips, random connections and all our doubts. Man, oh man are we thankful!