The Itch

Lately I've been thinking and praying a lot about baby #2... how they will enter our family? Are we ready for another baby? When is the right time to begin perusing that addition? Should we do any infertility treatments or just go immediately back to DPAS? Lots of thoughts. The planner in me really does best when those things are kind of lined out. I've always known I wanted my children close in age (probably because my closest sister is just 17 months younger then me) so I've kinda thought when the oldest was two I'd like the second one to come. Tucker will be two in April. Adoption is so different because you literally have NO idea how long the process will take. Tucker took three weeks start to finish. Right now we are leaning more toward adopting again. I have known since Tucker was just days old that I wanted to adopt again. Partly because I want him to have someone in our family who he can relate to and match, but also because of the passion that adoption has become in my life and heart. While infertility treatments are certainly an option they are expensive and emotionally rough. We just don't have a peace about going down that road right now. Who knows what the future will hold though. 

I woke up early this morning with my head and heart still full of my dream. I RARELY remember my dreams anymore, maybe because I don't sleep in long enough successions to be coherent enough to remember. Who knows? Anyways. In my dream we had just gotten home from Africa (we're going in late July) and we got a call from DPAS saying there was a birth family who wanted to meet us. The couple had several children already and just couldn't afford another. She was already born, but just a few days old. We walked into DPAS offices and were greeted by Sandy. She gave us a super cute diaper bag with one tiny diaper in it and we kept walking into an area of the DPAS offices that we'd never been in before (and actually doesn't exist). I was met there by Dierdra, the Director and Tucker's birth mom's case worker, holding a infant seat with a beautiful, brown, baby girl in it. She told me the birth family was in the building so to stay put, but that I could hold her. Chris disappeared at this point to go do paper work or something. So just Tucker, Dierdra and I were left in the room with the baby. I held that sweet baby girl and tried to remind myself that nothing was decided for sure and not to let myself get too attached, but already felt my heart bonding with this baby. She then peed through her clothes and blanket. Dierdra left to go find her something new to wear and I tried to soothe this naked girl with just a towel to wrap around her. I got her calmed down and was sitting in a chair talking to Tucker about her and letting him love her when the birth family walked in behind me. I didn't know they were there for a while. Tuck and I talked and rocked and sang to this sweet baby as they watched. I finally turned to see tears rolling down this birth mom's face and mine immediately matched hers. She told me they'd been calling her Rosie, which I remember thinking was weird because she was brown, not all pink like white babies. We shared a few minutes and the name we had picked out and then we left with a baby girl. 

It just made me anxious for the day when we see the plan God already has worked out for Baby G #2. With Tucker's story and all the details that lined up so perfectly so that he would be ours I KNOW beyond a shadow of a doubt that God already has a specific baby and birth family chosen for us. I know that His sovereignty is greater then my plans and my ability to prepare for what's next. And I'm so thankful for that. 

Here's to Baby #2! Maybe it will be fast and smooth just like our first adoption journey was.

Side note: If you're in OKC, Norman or Edmond today to go and eat a Johnnie's and mention DPAS. Johnnie's is donating part of their proceeds to our wonderful agency today.